What is a Twin Flame and what is Soulmate love?

Firstly, lets look at what is a Soulmate, so that we can make important distinctions between a Soulmate and a Twin Flame relationship.

What is a Soulmate?

We have many soulmates – these are souls within our soul family. We can have many lifetimes with a soulmate and through our relationships with them we learn, evolve and grow. This can include romantic relationships, but also siblings, parent – child relationships, friends and even special work colleagues.

As we come together over various lifetimes, it can be like gathering to perform in a play each time, with each soul family member coming together and acting out a role in this “play”, which represents this lifetime. The soul that plays the cheating husband this time, may return to play the loving wife in the next lifetime, to balance out the karma between these two souls and to repay their karmic debt.

There is a deep love between soulmates and a spiritual bond that is special and unique. Our many soulmates come into our lives to help us to grow and to awaken spiritually.

Happy ever after… or worst nightmare?

Some people will get their happy ever after with a soulmate relationship, some will not. It depends on what your soul has signed up for in this lifetime and what the other person’s soul has signed up for.

If your soul has signed up for a higher spiritual purpose in this lifetime, then you may be destined to share the kind of soulmate love that “brings in the lessons” as opposed to a happy ever after.

“People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention, so you can change your life. A true soulmate is probably the most important person you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.”

Elizabeth Gilbert – Author of Eat, Pray, Love

It is very likely that it will be a soulmate (rather than a twin flame) who will bring in the biggest challenges in your life – such as: abusive behaviour, betrayal, lying, cheating, or abandonment or bereavement.

Of course, there is vast spiritual learning and growth that will come out of these situations. It is up to you to transform this pain into power, to learn how to forgive, to heal from what happened and to come back to a place of love, compassion and understanding – to make what happened to you make sense in the greater divine plan of your life.

I have worked with thousands of clients in my Coaching and Healing practice over the past 12 years to support them through their dark nights of the soul and to look for the meaning in the situations that they faced and to take the learning and the lessons forward with them.

During my Life Coaching training with Coach U in the states, we were always taught to “look within”, so I applied this to my own life when going through a very difficult divorce. I would take some time for reflection and ask myself, “What can I learn from this?” and “What do I need to do / how do I need to change & grow in relation to this?”

I took responsibility for how I needed to change and grow as a person, to be ready to attract in the loving, intimate, respectful, trusting, responsible, self-aware, open-hearted, spiritual, emotionally intelligent partner that I so deeply desired. Of course, I needed to be all these things first, to be an energetic match to attract this great partner into my life.

This involved a great deal of personal work – for instance:

• healing my past hurts
• increasing my levels of self-awareness
• being aware when I was projecting something towards another person that was actually about me
• noticing when I was going into fear, rather than focusing on love
• knowing when I was self-sabotaging myself or holding myself back in some way
• working to dissolve my ego behaviours (such as going into drama, or allowing pride to surface)
• being willing to be authentic and be myself (rather than what the other person wanted or expected of me)
• having healthy personal boundaries and being able to express these in strong yet kind and loving ways
• sharing agape love (loving without conditions or expecting something in return)
• being able to deal with anger and confrontation in lovingly assertive ways
• sharing my deepest truth, even if this felt uncomfortable at times
• being able to share my feelings (holding nothing back) and willing to be vulnerable
• holding my partners hopes and dreams in my heart, making them as precious and as important as my own hopes and dreams

What is a Twin Flame?

A Twin Flame is said to be the “other half” of your soul. We each only have one twin and each go our separate ways – incarnating over and over again to experience life and learn lessons in human form.

Prior to incarnating, your soul chooses the experiences that you will have in each lifetime based on the lessons that you need for your soul’s overall progression and spiritual growth. We also have free will, so we can choose how we react to these experiences and make choices on the other aspects of our life that are not so predetermined.

Will I connect with my Twin Flame in this lifetime?

We are experiencing a mass awakening of human consciousness on the planet at this time, which is allowing more twin flames to come together. Twin flames are brought together for spiritual work – this is their main reason for coming together – to help humanity / the planet in some way.

The more spiritually evolved that you are and the more lessons that your soul has mastered in this lifetime the more likely you are to connect with your twin flame in this lifetime and build a happy, compatible and mutually fulfilling relationship together. Healing from your past hurts and transcending your ego will also support a successful soul reunion.

Attributes of a twin flame relationship include:

1. Each person will take responsibility for their own shadow work and will have done a significant amount of personal development and have a high level of self-awareness, taking responsibility for anything that surfaces in the relationship and for resolving the issue
2. Both will be willing to be vulnerable and will have transcended most of their ego and come from a place of humility and be focused on being of service to humanity and the planet
3. Each will be committed to living their soul’s life purpose and making the world a better place in some way
4. There is a high degree of authenticity and a feeling of being able to show up as your true self – there is no space for pride, ego or mind games in this type of relationship
5. There is a feeling of soul expansion and a love that is beyond merely physical and this is underpinned with deep intimacy, trust and mutual respect
6. There is a sense of ease and even bliss in the connection – each person’s greatest joy is seeing the other person happy and fulfilled and this is reciprocated by their partner
7. Each person takes responsibility for their own happiness and fulfilment – the other person enhances your life, but is not the sole source of your happiness
8. One or both will have a strong channel to connect to spirit and there may be a telepathic connecting at times
9. Each person’s growth and awakening can be accelerated by coming together – like you are more of who you are by the connection that you share
10. The union will connect you to a higher consciousness than ever before and will release even more creative energy that you can use to support your spiritual purpose – such as writing, creating music, teaching classes, working with clients, blogging, podcasts, setting up a healing centre etc

Successful or unsuccessful reunion?

There may be some conditioning and barriers to communication to be overcome before coming together – for instance one or both people may need to learn how to feel more comfortable with vulnerability and sharing their feelings and being more open with their emotions. This was certainly the case in the case studies in my book  Divine Love – from soulmate lessons to twin flame reunion. In these instances, it was the men that needed to overcome this (but I have also found this to be the case with some of the women that I have worked with, as they had been conditioned by society and their culture to be “strong” and to not show their emotions).

It is also beneficial to balance your masculine and your feminine energy within the self first – this  helps to support the reunion – the coming together of two emotionally mature, enlightened and balanced souls – which are also connected to God/source. It can help to seek out a Mentor, Coach, Spiritual teacher / Healer that can support you on your journey to awakening and this will also support your soul reunion.

Not all twin flames will unite physically in their current lifetime on the earth plane. Again, it depends on what your souls have agreed to and how evolved each person is spiritually and whether each is prepared to do the inner work to create the foundation required to prepare for the soul reunion.

It is important to note that a twin flame connection may feel like the soulmate relationship that brings in the lessons – if one or both people have not yet healed their hurts or if ego thoughts are coming up and are not being held in awareness and lovingly transformed. That is why it is so important to put the time and effort into healing your past hurts and transforming your pain back into power and ultimately to return to Divine Love as your state of being. Having said that, there is NO EXCUSE for a toxic or abusive relationship – more on that in my previous blog post How to Heal from a Toxic Ex.

I wish you every blessing on your journey to experience and connect with divine love of the self, with healing and forgiving every past hurt, learning the lessons from your soul relationships, transforming the ego, connecting with true love and radiating divine love into the world – for this is indeed your divine inheritance.

Please do reach out to me if you feel guided to contact me for Coaching support in this area of your life.

---

Ingrid Darragh is a Relationship Coach, Master EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Practitioner, Usui Reiki Master Teacher, Angel intuitive and Author – As featured on Hay House Radio and EFT Radio.

Ingrid is passionate about supporting people to heal from past hurts and traumas and to fulfil their highest potential and to connect with deeper levels of love than ever before.

Divine Love – from Soulmate lessons to Twin Flame reunion is available on Amazon (paperback and Kindle version) and includes her Forgiveness Process to overcome and transcend past hurts.

Subscribe to Ingrid’s Awakening Hearts blog for regular updates and guest blogs.

---

Other Posts By Ingrid